Funny, Crazy Lunatic oneshots
by Gece and Delena
Summary: Funny, Crazy Lunatic oneshots. All oneshots making fun of almost all the characters in TVD. It's in Damon and Elena catagories, because it mostly have more parodies than any other characters. Rated T for language.


**Lot's of Stefan hating. But Next chapter will be another character.**

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><p>Stefan ran happily into the boarding house with a sheet of paper in his hand. Damon and Elena were sitting on the couch. Stefan quickly ran in front of them and rub the paper in their faces. Damon growls and pushes the paper out of his face.<p>

Stefan laughs and makes them read it "You guys will never guess what I found out today. It's unbelievable"

"You found out that you finally had balls?" Damon asks

Elena snikers a little bit

Stefan rolls his eyes "No! I found out that a big director is here for his new movie and wants to cast people"

"So, who cares?" Elena asks

Stefan gasps and puts one hand on his heart "I do" he stares into the distance "In all my life, I have always wanted to be a big movie star"

"So, Stefan are you sure you're not gay?" Damon asks "Because I'm sure that you didn't find your balls"

"Whatever Damon" Stefan replies. He looks at Elena "Elena will you help me?"

Elena sighs. She didn't want to be a movie star, but she didn't want to hurt Stefan's feelings.

She puts on a fake smile "Sure, Stefan"

Stefan smiles "Thank you Elena. Now, lets go- auditions starts today" he grabs Elena and pulls her off the couch.

Elena turns to Damon "You coming?"

Damon shrugs "Well, I hate directors, but I love seeing Stefan make a fool of himself... so yeah"

He gets up and follows them. Stefan leads the group for about 8 miles until they found the movie set. They saw the director yelling at people that were not doing their jobs right. Stefan quickly leaves the group and goes in front of the director.

The director was suprise at Stefan. He took out his mega phone and yelled "Who called Robert Pattinson's stunt double"

Stefan raises an eyebrow. "I am not Robert Pattinson's stunt double. I'm Stefan, and here to audition for a part in your movie"

Just then Elena and Damon came and stood behind Stefan.

"And why should I hire you?" the director asks "I don't even know you"

Elena puts her hand on Stefan's shoulder "He'd be great for this movie, Sir"

The director smiles at Elena "I like your spunk! You're in the movie"

"Wow," Elena says smiling. She couldn't believe that she was in the movie without even auditioning. Stefan on the other hand was pissed. How could Elena be already in the movie when he was a way better actor than her.

"But Sir, you didn't even see her audition" Stefan says trying to make the director put him in the movie

The director shakes his head "I like her; she's got spunk. And she clearly knows how to act" he turns his attention to Damon "What about you? Are you good at acting?"

Damon scoffs "I wouldn't want to be in this movie for anything in the world"

The director smirks "Rebelling bad boy! You're in the movie"

Stefan throws his hand up "Seriously! Him? What about me?"

The director ignores Stefan and focuses on Elena and Damon "I'll pay you guys 10,000 dollars each"

"Hell no!" Stefan shouts "I am good"

The director -clearly annoyed with Stefan- turns and face him "Fine! You're in the movie. I have an important role just for you"

Elena and Damon were sitting in their chairs with people tending to their needs. Damon wanted to leave, but Elena made him stay. They were waiting for Stefan to come out of his costume change. After about 8 minutes, Stefan came out hald naked. He had on clip on hoop earrings, a black sheet that covered his area, that made it look like an underwear. He looked like a sumo wrestler, only skinner.

Damon and Elena died laughing on their chairs at Stefan. Elena fell off her chair as Damon took out his phone and started taking pictures. Stefan puts his head low in shame. He spotted the director and quickly stops him.

"Um, Sir, I think there's been a mix up with my costume"

The director shakes his head "No, that's about right. Now get to filming"

Stefan sighs and follows the director. A man behind him, stops him while walking on the steps.

The guy turns him around "Hey, I know you! You're that gay roller skater from that movie roll bounce with bow wow"

Stefan's eyes grew wide "That's another movie dickhead"

The guy laughs "No it wasn't. You had those tight ass pants-"

"ANOTHER MOVIE!" He yells and walks onto the set.

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><p>The film<p>

_Movie Summary: Damon is Desmond. Elena is Natalie, and Stefan is Humlay. The film is about Damon being Elena's bodyguard and Stefan being the minion to the man that kidnaps Elena. _

_Lao laughs a devilish smiles as Elena sat down on the table with a knife against her throat. Stefan was standing next to Elena with the knife in his hand._

_Damon kicks the door open "Bring me the girl"_

_Lao laughs "Yeah right! Stefan get him"_

_Stefan nods and runs to tackle Damon. The fight ran for about 5 minutes until, Damon snapped Stefan's neck. Damon quickly pulls out his gun and shoots Lao. He runs to the stage and grabs Elena. He runs out of the building with her, before it explodes._

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><p>After the movie was done, everyone was sitting in a circle. The director was congradulating everyone on their performance. He told Damon was awesome he was in stunts. He told Elena how brave she was, and said nothing to Stefan.<p>

"So, how about me?" Stefan asks

The director sighs "Stefan, I don't like you. You're shrill, annoying, and just plain there"

"Oh" Stefan says soflty

"And don't forgot constant brooding" Damon adds

The director laughs "And don't forgot that hair"

"Edward wannabe"

Damon and the director laughs and high five each other. Elena couldn't help but feel bad for Stefan.

Stefan was about to respond when a siren was heard from behind them. They all turn around to see two cops coming towards them. They stop in front of Stefan.

"How old are you, son" the first cop asks. They knew it was code 5 section 51 to not be underage and wearing that.

"17"

"And wearing that" they grab Stefan "Lets go, boy"

Stefan starts to struggle "Why are you arresting me? What have I done wrong" he struggles more, but they still hold him. "Were near the end of the chapter and I still haven't got an important part. Only one scene where I get a compliment. Where's the writer?"

The police man scoffs "At the police station"

"You poking fun at me?" Stefan asks menacingly "That's the fucking writer, standing there! You trapped me into this, you shit! Wanker!"

Damon shakes his head "Those poor readers have to sit and listen to Stefan's brooding"

Stefan continues "You talk in chapter, and everyone is happy. I talk coherently and I'm not allowed to make one comment? You shit! Don't let me see you here again"

The director turns to Damon "Okay, since we lost someone not important enough, lets continue"

The police puts Stefan in the car and starts driving away.

Stefan starts again "Wait, till I have a chance to make a story! I'll have you all naked for the whole chapter! Shit!" he starts pointing fingers "How can you treat me like this? Me a vampire superstar. In the whole chapter, I get treated like shit!" he hits the car "When you're no longer popular don't come to me. And what the hell was this whole chapter about anyway? Crazy lunatic writer! Next time I see you-"

the end

"Oh hell no, you did not cut me on my own senten-"

**A/N: LOL, I kinda feel bad for what I did to Stefan. But, it's all crazy in these oneshots. First one is Stefan, next might be Damon, or Elena. Anything goes for these crazy lunatic oneshots. Hope it was good. Review if you feel like it.**


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